Im losing my best friend

You and me We used to be together Everyday together always I really feel That I'm losing my best friend I can't believe This could be the end It looks as though you're letting go And if it's real Well I don't want to know Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts Don't speak I know what you're thinking I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts

What if I'm just always sad.

Why do I not feel happier, things are not bad, they could be worse. but no matter what I always feel so disappointing and sad in myself.

"And I drink a little more than recommended This world ain’t exactly what my heart expected Tryna find my way someway, oh I, oh I, oh I See, whoa, c’est la vie Maybe something’s wrong with me But, whoa, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free Yeah, whoa, c’est la vie And maybe something’s wrong with me But, whoa, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free"

why do i permanently feel so pent up and miserable

I have a house, good friends, good family a job I don't completely hat, an amazing boyfriend I'm not crippilingly poor. I'm not sick. I have a pet turtle and nice things. So why can't I just be happy. Why am I so tired and misserable all the time. I'm so fed up with myself.

Thibgs just keep on changing

"and my wisdom teeth have been giving me grief, they woke me up to find I'm exactly the kind of guy I said i'd rather be dead than to be in the days before I got laid, suddenly its as clear as clear can be, I'm not quite the perfect man I thought I'd be" My wisdom teeth are coming through and that's woke me up combine with the fact that I'm feeling pretty ill. I'm awake at 5 and Lum's alarm will go off in 8min and he is sound asleep. He is absolutely wonderfull, he does my head in but only in the way they (all my friends) do. He treats me so well, I adore him. It's 5:25 and the sunrise is pretty, yesterday I left my first job. I Feel like I could maybe sleep again, I should try.

This is probably a load a shit

This is probably crap and I'm just feeling sorry for myself and run down after a frankly brilliant and fucking messy weekend I feel terrible, I want a cuddle, I'm miserable. I feel so sad, I'm literally whinging cause I Have a come down. Also I Feel sick and have seriouse stomac ache :( On another note I love Vod from fresh meat. Moody aratic baby.

Its not the same.

I missJess and Baz! Its not the same here without them. They have lived with me so long and its so hard not having them around all the time. They make me feel better effortlessly, and thats not something many people can do. I would just sit with them, have a little chat and it would always cheer me up. And now I talk to Jess for a bit each day, not loong nowhere near enought. And it feels like so much less, she has been gone a week and it feels like forever. They know me. The can see straight throught me and I feel comfortable around them. I'm not doinf to well recently my heads a mess and I dunno if I'm coming or going and I wish I could see them to feel less lost. I've only got 3 people I really talk too and I've lost 2 of them in a week. I shoulsnt complain, I'm not the one in sicily alone. I just really really miss them and the house feels empty all the time now.

I am strong and independent

and I will be happy with who I am for me along with out relying on anyone else. I guess that's my main goal to be comfortable in my own skin, to be happy with the person I am. But sometimes/ somedays its hard and I'm lonely and sad and want someone to fuss over me or I want comfort and affection from another person, I guess that must never go away, no mater how long you're alone? I miss having someone call to make sure I'm OK. being strong and independent is much harder than being doted on.