Sing for the words that you know but they still make you chock

Sometime I'll stick on a song and for no real reason it will just make me cry.








The Weepies - Slow Pony Home
The King Blues- everything happens for a reason
The Distillers-Gypsy Rose Lee
Bruce Springsteen-Glory Days
Lucy Spragger- tea and toast i just went to add king blues again :L just went to add the king blues AGAIN

Do you miss somone special you don't see aymore?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCQ0N-Z4tHg&feature=related

I'm Sorry

I feel the need to apologies to all the people I have hurt and offended in my life.

i'm a coward, cause no one will see this, i'm sorry for all the stupid things i've said and done, for all the mistake i've made.
I feel like i have a thousand things to apologies for,
I feel alot of things. Apologizing wont change how i feel but i feel it should be done.
I'm Sorrry. "from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach."

DA DA DA DA DAAAAA DA DA DAAAA DAAAA AHHHHHHHH DA DA LAAAA LA LLLLLLshiteAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

I have made many mistakes
In my time
Built my share of bridges and broken hearts
I've told lies
I have not always followed my own advice
I've fallen flat
But darling sometimes that's just life

With the way that I am I might not
Much be around
But I'll stop in from time to time to share
The things I've learnt
You should keep your friends and family close
And always always always try to say yes
And we can not ever one of us be perfect
But darling we can try our best

I feel like i might expload

And I only hide
what is on my mind because I can't explain

I Need

some motherfucking whisky.......

Longlived

my comfort pasta made me feel sick.
I wish I could have more chocolate milk.
Pysically I'm in a beetter place.
mentally I'm not sure.
I think the ability to be so precise and clean and accurate has made me need to be.
and I don't feel happy anymore. just scared and uncertain and alone. And I dont feel so strong or independent.

how often does someone cry on avarage?

Here is a list of simple normal things I want so much:
- To sleep in my clothes
- To sleep with my window open
- To not brush my teeth so intensly/ not so much
- To not be so scared of germs
- To fall asleep with hot chocolate and a book
- To sleep with the light of
- To have a messy room
- To not be so uncertain and paranoid
- To not get ready for bed!

I'm going to bed now. Night.

I'm going to bed

At 9:10, I already fell asleep at 7:20 till 8:20
now I'm just going to bed cause I feel too sad to be awake.
Rob said he can fix my laptop if my insurance doesn't. thats really nice of him
I wish there was pasta for dinner. or I had some pizza. I want pasta most obviously.
I hope tomorrow I can stop crying and feel better.
guess we'll see.
Night.

whheeey oohhh ohhhh wheeey ooohh ohhh ohhhw

I feel really sad.
and I smeel like sweat from running for the train.
"Therapy still scares me, putting me on my back again, I may be crazy little frayed around the edge"
I'm sorry I couldn't see Cameron properly.
I feel so bloody awfull.

London I love you but you're bringing me down

Guess I don't have to worry about talking when there is no one to talk to...
I want to be alone but I still feel lonely and sad.
ppffftttt.

its been a bad night

It took so long and i'm so tired and i feel kinda lonely and sad.

Up in Arms

the rain is here
and you my dear
are still my friend
it's true the two of us
are back as one again
I was the one who left you
always coming back
I cannot forget you girl
now I am up in arms again

together now I don't know how this love could end
my lonely heart
it falls apart for you to mend

Time To Pretend

I'm Feelin rough I'm Feelin raw
I'm in the prime of my life.

Let's make some music make some money
find some models for wives.

I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin
and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine
and the elegant cars.

This is our decision to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.

Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up
for the morning commute?

Forget about our mothers and our friends.
We're fated to pretend.
To pretend
We're fated to pretend.
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals
and digging up worms.
I'll miss the comfort of my mother
and the weight of the world.

I'll miss my brother miss my father,
miss my dog and my home.
Yeah I'll miss the boredom and the freedom
and the time spent alone.

But there is really nothing, nothing we can do.
Love must be forgotten.
Life can always start up anew.

The models will have children, we'll get a divorce,
we'll find some more models,
Everything must run its course.

We'll choke on our vomit
and that will be the end.
We were fated to pretend.
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
I said Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

Bye

Goodbye guys.
I'll miss you.
I'm gonna miss my room, and everyone.
Ohhh :(
I love you all,

This Week

Has been really stressful.
And I'm tired and panicky, and its all just a bit bad right now.
I'm scared and upset.

Doll;

You know in all of the times that we've shared
I've never been so scared
Doll me up in my bad luck
I'll meet you there

I wish i never had taken this dare
I wasn't quite prepared
Doll me up in my bad luck
I'll meet you there

Nobody's Hero, Nobody's star

It Overtakes Me

And I'm there, looking up at the sky
And I'm scared, thinkin' 'bout the way that I
Don't understand anything at all...
And how it overtakes me... and I am just so small...
Do I stand a chance?

I'M SO HAPPPY

That I'm not fat
and I have friends
and my friends like me
because I'm not twisted and fucked up so I haven't lost them all
and I dont need to lie about my boyfriend beating and raping me.
and I dont need to make up stories about people who i used to be close too
I'm so happy I'm not on anti depressants
I'm so happy I'm going to uni and not re doing my first year of college 3 years in a row.
I'm so happy I'm not a pathetic bitch
I'm so happy that others pain doesn't make me feel better
I'm so happy I'm not a slag
I'm so happy I'm not you!

BANG!

I Love Those Mornings when.

you wake up, feeling like shit still, to be told the house you were very certain you were gonna get is gone to someone willing to pay more rent, seriously, wtf you are actually paying more than you have too. Just find a more expensive place in London, trust me there are loads.
Then the person you share a room with, who has been up all night, decides he want 2 hours sleep before fucking of out, so I have to wake him in 2 hours.
AND the worse part is, I'm craving chocolate with we don't have AND there is no chocolate milk FML.

Blogger.

Have I told you how much I love turtles?



I fucking love turtles. :)

Let Go.

"I'm forever black eyed a product of a broken home."

I Kind of Feel too OK to Post this, but am doing so Regardless.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

I am Not your Concern

My life is my own.
"I appreciate your concern I hope you rot and burn"
What I do has no impact on you so... SHUT THE FUCK UP. and leave it out.

Not Today.

I Don't want to be awake. I am not ready for this. I am so tired, I slept so badly. I want to be in bed.

I'm Learning to Live Again.

I'll learn to love again.
Time & time again.

I randomly occasionally

freak out about people, Knowing them talking to them, things they know about me and feel really scared an insecure and think that if I just don't talk to anyone this will go away.
I don't like people. I don't like me.
and my charger is being temperamental again. stupid piece of shit.
I think I need to get some sleep.
I think I need to be less scared.
I think to much.
I am certain of very little.
I am tired.
I am awake.
I am alone.

Everytime

Everytime I start to feel fine something just completly throws me again.

Why?

Why am I not stronger! WTF is wrong with me?

I Know Nothing. I am Scared.

I wish I waas the person I wanted to be instead of the person I am.
I guess all I'm able to do is try and improve on myself.
I wondered if I'd like me if I were to meet myself.

If I ever Leave this World Alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll thank for the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll come back and sit beside your feet tonight
Where ever I`m you`ll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don`t shed a tear
I`ll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world alive
Hey I may never leave this world alive
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I`m okay; I`m all right,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would
Now everything should be alright

She says I`m okay; I`m all right,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would
Now everything should be alright
Yeah should be alright

Blurgh

I feel really, I don't know how to put it, bored, fed up, usless, tired, unamused, sad, lonely, pointless, hungry. yeahhh I feel really crap, kinda like nothing is worth doing, meehhh. fucking hell....guess i'll just probaby carry on playing Sim3 and then sleep or eat I dunno.

I'm Looking Foward to the Day

when I Wake up and Everything Feels Ok

SUMMMER

its a bit late now but I always do a summer blog so here it is.
I erm Don't think it is too bad.

Bed.

I have to get ready for bed at 11 and I really dont want too..... :/
FML

I Wish I didn't Think

I make it worse for myself. This has not been a good day.

"The rain it always starts when you go away"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......FFS

Don't Read my Blog

YOU CUNT.

I'm gonna Listen to Coldplay

Then I'm gonna cry more.

Its Been a Bad Day

Please Don't Take Your Picture,
Its Been a Bad Day,
Please.

If ever I stray

Forgive me someone, for I have sinned
And I know not where I should begin
Some days it feels like you just can't win
No matter what you do or say.

Things didn't kill me but I don't feel stronger
Life is short but it feels much longer
You've lost that drive, you've lost that hunger
To pull yourself through the day.

But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!

'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4

We've all got secrets that we hold inside
The worst little things that we try and defy
The worst one of all that you never can hide
Is that you're never quite as strong as you sound


So I'm sorry baby, for the times I've hurt you
Sorry friends, for the times I desert you
Most days it feels like I don't deserve you
No wonder that you're all still around

But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!


'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4
Come on and join me in the water
Swim for hope
Sometimes it's hard to remember
I couldn't do this on my own

If ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!

'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

I can't ask for anything more

The path I chose isn't straight and narrow
It wanders 'round like a drunken fellow
Some days it's hard for me to follow
But if you've got my back I'll go on.
If you've got my back I'll go on.

Call it a Day

Can we call it a day
Now would that be okay
Can we just go our own separate ways

Cause I'm cold and I'm wet
And I'm willing to bet
That you constructed this maze

I stumble around
Trying to follow the sound
Then something takes hold of my hand

If you've caused such a mess
And I'd venture to guess
That you concocted this plan

And I don't know what to do
Cause it's always with you
Who helped me to make up my mind

But I'll stake my life
And I'll swear by this knife
That it's all by your design

Enough has been said
It goes around in my head
Until I break down and cry

I wouldn't be surprised
If that look in your eyes
Was your way of saying goodbye

Can we call it a day
Now would that be okay
Can we just go our own separate ways

Cause I'm cold and I'm wet
And I'm willing to bet
That you constructed this maze

My hand

You concocted this plan

I don't know what to do
Cause it's always been you
Who helped me to make up my mind

But I'll stake my life
And I'll swear by this knife
That it's all by your design
Yeah, it's all by your design

I Feel like I've been Kicked really Hard in the Stomac

I don't want to cry anymore.

I Don't have to be at uni till the 12th

Do you think playing the drums will wake Baz up?
Should I have a fried egg bagle?
I'm both dissapointed and happy about this new discovery...
I should stop pulling my hair out.
I should call up my insurance.
I'm sorry I fail so much...
I'm sitting on my feet and they are really warm.
now I have pins and needles in them.

some days

I wish I was someone else

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

:)

:(
:)

Get out of my head

You're not worth the fucking space. Stop ruining my peace.

PUNK.

It's gonna be Ok.

I can do this?

This part of my life will be remembered with my blog and grooveshark, I hate that I've ruined my blog with such depressing shit, maybe one day I can go through and delete it all. and go back to posting happy indi trendy shit. and talking about how much i love drugs. I think I'm just going to have to embrace this pain instead of hiding from it. I think I'll just listen to really angry music and turn my sadness into anger then like kill someone then everything will be ok, right?

I feel sick

I feel sick in the pit of my stomach. kinda like im really scared, but i don't know why.

Have you ever felt your heart sink?

Everything is magic until it becomes routine,

Everything is magic until it becomes routine,
in your bedroom, on the road or in the corners of your dreams,
and I sure hope we aren't just spinning our wheels.
Whatever happens, I think you should know
I'm just glad it feels like anything at all.

Is that to much to ask.

I don't want to spend another year without direction and full of fear.

FUUUUCCCCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU

I'm sorry, I don't mean that.

Am I wrong

Am I wrong to hold on to things so tight,

I'm far to sentimental.

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart."
— Haruki Murakami

I wish I was Special

I feel so lonely

better place, better time,

I'm going to try and sort this shit out, and when i say this shit I mean me.
I'm so sorry for how I've been recently, I'm sorry I cry on you all the time.
I should make some sort of attempted to talk to you all without crying and have fun without drinking so much.
I'm sorry I'm being a knob.
I'm sorry.
I've really fucked my head up. mentally & physically.
I know I can't just wallow in it I know i have to move on and I'm scared.
I guess I just have to try.
Sorry

I'm sorry I hurt you so much

Well that was the best I've slept but the worst I feel.

I'm trying to be brave,
cause when I'm brave other people feel brave.
But i feel like my heart is caving in.

I Don't Think I Can Do This.

cause I feel like posting happy songs

Take me
From this world
Save me
What if we
All die young?
So take me
From this world
Save me
What if we
All die young?

Don't ask me why
'Cuz I don't know
Don't ask me how
I'm gonna solve this on my own
Don't ask me why
'Cuz I don't know
These things I've never faced
Scratch out, but won't erase

In the face
Of change
That’s when she turned to me and said
“I’m not sure anymore”

And there
Amidst the waves and the cloudless skies
That blanket the year before
I watch my life wash ashore

Have you ever been a part of something
That you thought would never end?
And then, of course it did
Have you ever felt the weight inside you
Pulling away inside your skin?
And then something had to give

Now the lines are drawn
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone
And now that is all this is
With the reasons clear
We’ll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear
And now things will be different

There’s nothing simple when it comes to you and I
Always something in this everchanging life
And there probably always will
Now that time is getting harder to come by,
The same arguments are always on our mind
{We’ve} killed this slowly fading light

Now the lines are drawn
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone
And now that is all this is
With the reasons clear
We’ll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear
But now things will be different

And now something
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me
If I’m already gone

Well now something (hey)
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me (hey)
If I’m already gone

Now let’s say that something (hey)
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me (hey)
If I’m already gone

And we make the same mistakes
We’re always hanging on
Break the promises we’re always leaning on
All this time spent waking up
{Now I} keep this line open to get this call from you
{As you} speak the words that keep me coming back to you
Now this time it’s all different

Now something
Has kept me here too long
And now I’m gone

Maybe we’ll have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.(karin mathilda)

I Hate Myself and Want to Die.

Runny nose and runny yolk
Even if you have a cold still
You can cough on me again
I still haven't had my fulfill

In the someday what's that s sound? (x4)

Broken heart and broken bones
Think of how a castrated horse feels
One more quirky cliched phrase
You're the one I wanna refill

In the someday what's that s sound? (x4)

(spoken quietly)
Most people don't realize
That two large pieces of coral,
Painted brown, and attached to his skull
With common wood screws can make a child look like a deer

In the someday what's that s sound? (x4)

Runny nose and runny yolk
Even if you have a cold still
You can cough on me again
I still haven't had my fulfill

In the someday what's that s sound? (x4)

Danger, keep away.

We too feel alone

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

Where have I been all this time?
Lost enslaved fatal decline
I've been waiting for this to unfold, but
The pieces are only as good as the whole

Severed myself from my whole life
Cut out the only thing that was right
What If I never saw you again
I'd die right next to you in the end

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

I won't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say
Without hearing what I have to say
Without hearing what I have to say

i dont

i dont want to do this anymore....any of this... i dont want to be here...im sorry its stressful knowing me.

IMFUCKINGSORRY

I used to have such balance

I liked the person I was before the peron i am now...I miss that. I miss that alot...

...

Saturday, 3 July 2010
I'm Just Here
I'm lying here in my bed as it gets light and i can here the birds sing and Baz snore and im on MSN just talking shit to people and somehow it reminds me of last year, last summer, last holiday, im not sure why or how but it just feels the same, but different, but better. i cant really explain or describe it.
Just trust me on this, It has that vibe..

only im not on msn,and it doesnt feel like last summer. it doesnt feel better. much worse. it doesnt have a vibe. i did get da jav vue though of mine doors stackedontop of each other wi=hich were red green blue/white. that was the image that went with it. i know. thats weird.

10 things just like before

1)I've finished college
2)I used to write more
3)I'm sad
4)Baz doesnt love me
5)Im scared
6)Im going to uni
7)I can't sleep
8) i dont think ii can do this
9)i really miss Jess but belive shes better without me
10)i think i've gone slightly numb

relevant.

In the face
Of change
That’s when she turned to me and said
“I’m not sure anymore”

And there
Amidst the waves and the cloudless skies
That blanket the year before
I watch my life wash ashore

Have you ever been a part of something
That you thought would never end?
And then, of course it did
Have you ever felt the weight inside you
Pulling away inside your skin?
And then something had to give

Now the lines are drawn
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone
And now that is all this is
With the reasons clear
We’ll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear
And now things will be different

There’s nothing simple when it comes to you and I
Always something in this everchanging life
And there probably always will
Now that time is getting harder to come by,
The same arguments are always on our mind
{We’ve} killed this slowly fading light

Now the lines are drawn
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone
And now that is all this is
With the reasons clear
We’ll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear
But now things will be different

And now something
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me
If I’m already gone

Well now something (hey)
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me (hey)
If I’m already gone

Now let’s say that something (hey)
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me (hey)
If I’m already gone

And we make the same mistakes
We’re always hanging on
Break the promises we’re always leaning on
All this time spent waking up
{Now I} keep this line open to get this call from you
{As you} speak the words that keep me coming back to you
Now this time it’s all different

Now something
Has kept me here too long
And now I’m gone

Never Gonna Fall In Love Again

"Something snapped me out of a dream that I was having
I'd falled down an elevator shaft but now I'm back again
Tidying up after the fight we had
Happy with yourself?
Well, you've never looked so satisfied
Teasing me with stuff like a spolit little brother
You finished yet?
Have you got what you really want?"

Old Enough

There, maybe when you’re old enough
You’ll realize you’re not so tough
And some days the seas get rough
And you’ll see

You’re too young to have it figured out
You think you know what you’re talking about
You think it will all work itself out
But we’ll see

When I was young I thought I knew
You probably think you know too
Do you? Well do you?
I was naïve just like you
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do
Well, what’s you gonna do?