BANG!

I Love Those Mornings when.

you wake up, feeling like shit still, to be told the house you were very certain you were gonna get is gone to someone willing to pay more rent, seriously, wtf you are actually paying more than you have too. Just find a more expensive place in London, trust me there are loads.
Then the person you share a room with, who has been up all night, decides he want 2 hours sleep before fucking of out, so I have to wake him in 2 hours.
AND the worse part is, I'm craving chocolate with we don't have AND there is no chocolate milk FML.

Blogger.

Have I told you how much I love turtles?



I fucking love turtles. :)

Let Go.

"I'm forever black eyed a product of a broken home."

I Kind of Feel too OK to Post this, but am doing so Regardless.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

I am Not your Concern

My life is my own.
"I appreciate your concern I hope you rot and burn"
What I do has no impact on you so... SHUT THE FUCK UP. and leave it out.

Not Today.

I Don't want to be awake. I am not ready for this. I am so tired, I slept so badly. I want to be in bed.

I'm Learning to Live Again.

I'll learn to love again.
Time & time again.

I randomly occasionally

freak out about people, Knowing them talking to them, things they know about me and feel really scared an insecure and think that if I just don't talk to anyone this will go away.
I don't like people. I don't like me.
and my charger is being temperamental again. stupid piece of shit.
I think I need to get some sleep.
I think I need to be less scared.
I think to much.
I am certain of very little.
I am tired.
I am awake.
I am alone.

Everytime

Everytime I start to feel fine something just completly throws me again.

Why?

Why am I not stronger! WTF is wrong with me?

I Know Nothing. I am Scared.

I wish I waas the person I wanted to be instead of the person I am.
I guess all I'm able to do is try and improve on myself.
I wondered if I'd like me if I were to meet myself.

If I ever Leave this World Alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll thank for the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll come back and sit beside your feet tonight
Where ever I`m you`ll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I`ll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don`t shed a tear
I`ll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world alive
Hey I may never leave this world alive
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I`m okay; I`m all right,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would
Now everything should be alright

She says I`m okay; I`m all right,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would
Now everything should be alright
Yeah should be alright

Blurgh

I feel really, I don't know how to put it, bored, fed up, usless, tired, unamused, sad, lonely, pointless, hungry. yeahhh I feel really crap, kinda like nothing is worth doing, meehhh. fucking hell....guess i'll just probaby carry on playing Sim3 and then sleep or eat I dunno.

I'm Looking Foward to the Day

when I Wake up and Everything Feels Ok

SUMMMER

its a bit late now but I always do a summer blog so here it is.
I erm Don't think it is too bad.

Bed.

I have to get ready for bed at 11 and I really dont want too..... :/
FML

I Wish I didn't Think

I make it worse for myself. This has not been a good day.

"The rain it always starts when you go away"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......FFS

Don't Read my Blog

YOU CUNT.

I'm gonna Listen to Coldplay

Then I'm gonna cry more.

Its Been a Bad Day

Please Don't Take Your Picture,
Its Been a Bad Day,
Please.

If ever I stray

Forgive me someone, for I have sinned
And I know not where I should begin
Some days it feels like you just can't win
No matter what you do or say.

Things didn't kill me but I don't feel stronger
Life is short but it feels much longer
You've lost that drive, you've lost that hunger
To pull yourself through the day.

But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!

'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4

We've all got secrets that we hold inside
The worst little things that we try and defy
The worst one of all that you never can hide
Is that you're never quite as strong as you sound


So I'm sorry baby, for the times I've hurt you
Sorry friends, for the times I desert you
Most days it feels like I don't deserve you
No wonder that you're all still around

But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!


'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4
Come on and join me in the water
Swim for hope
Sometimes it's hard to remember
I couldn't do this on my own

If ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!

'Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I've got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can't ask for anything more

I can't ask for anything more

The path I chose isn't straight and narrow
It wanders 'round like a drunken fellow
Some days it's hard for me to follow
But if you've got my back I'll go on.
If you've got my back I'll go on.

Call it a Day

Can we call it a day
Now would that be okay
Can we just go our own separate ways

Cause I'm cold and I'm wet
And I'm willing to bet
That you constructed this maze

I stumble around
Trying to follow the sound
Then something takes hold of my hand

If you've caused such a mess
And I'd venture to guess
That you concocted this plan

And I don't know what to do
Cause it's always with you
Who helped me to make up my mind

But I'll stake my life
And I'll swear by this knife
That it's all by your design

Enough has been said
It goes around in my head
Until I break down and cry

I wouldn't be surprised
If that look in your eyes
Was your way of saying goodbye

Can we call it a day
Now would that be okay
Can we just go our own separate ways

Cause I'm cold and I'm wet
And I'm willing to bet
That you constructed this maze

My hand

You concocted this plan

I don't know what to do
Cause it's always been you
Who helped me to make up my mind

But I'll stake my life
And I'll swear by this knife
That it's all by your design
Yeah, it's all by your design

I Feel like I've been Kicked really Hard in the Stomac

I don't want to cry anymore.

I Don't have to be at uni till the 12th

Do you think playing the drums will wake Baz up?
Should I have a fried egg bagle?
I'm both dissapointed and happy about this new discovery...
I should stop pulling my hair out.
I should call up my insurance.
I'm sorry I fail so much...
I'm sitting on my feet and they are really warm.
now I have pins and needles in them.

some days

I wish I was someone else

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:)

:(
:)

Get out of my head

You're not worth the fucking space. Stop ruining my peace.

PUNK.

It's gonna be Ok.

I can do this?

This part of my life will be remembered with my blog and grooveshark, I hate that I've ruined my blog with such depressing shit, maybe one day I can go through and delete it all. and go back to posting happy indi trendy shit. and talking about how much i love drugs. I think I'm just going to have to embrace this pain instead of hiding from it. I think I'll just listen to really angry music and turn my sadness into anger then like kill someone then everything will be ok, right?

I feel sick

I feel sick in the pit of my stomach. kinda like im really scared, but i don't know why.

Have you ever felt your heart sink?

Everything is magic until it becomes routine,

Everything is magic until it becomes routine,
in your bedroom, on the road or in the corners of your dreams,
and I sure hope we aren't just spinning our wheels.
Whatever happens, I think you should know
I'm just glad it feels like anything at all.

Is that to much to ask.

I don't want to spend another year without direction and full of fear.

FUUUUCCCCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU

I'm sorry, I don't mean that.

Am I wrong

Am I wrong to hold on to things so tight,

I'm far to sentimental.

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart."
— Haruki Murakami

I wish I was Special

I feel so lonely